So a man was just arrested recently for driving around a Walmart parking lot with his penis exposed.
But don’t worry 28 year old Travis Keen had a very good explanation for it. He said stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he has had at the discount super-store and that he gets aroused now whenever he’s at Walmart. Here’s a look at the creep that no one wants greeting them at Walmart:
But it got me thinking…other than super low prices on super cheap crap, what kind of sexy shit is going down at Walmart? Here’s what I uncovered.
1. Walmart shoppers are DTF (that’s down to fuck for you genteel types). They are just two seconds or less away from being completely nude.
2. If their pants don’t let you in on the fact that they are sexy, their backside camel toe will. This ass just screams for a spanking!
3. Even the men look like hot ladies! If you’re into boobs, you’re gonna love moobs! If this guy turns around and you get a glimpse of his rack, it’s gonna be clean-up in aisle six all over again!
4. Whatever your fantasy…you can find it at Walmart. Ren faire wenches? You bet? Sexy grannies straddling their rascals? Oh yeah! A french maid stinkier than a chunk of roquefort…ooo la la. The only thing lower than Walmart’s prices are the sartorial standards of their customers.
5. Tramp stamps and muffin tops. Need I say more? Those two things together are like the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups of foxy. Floss that ass gurl!
6. Walmart shoppers just love a man who pinches his pennies! And she’ll show you exactly where you can stick your spare change!
7. There’s always someone there that will do ANYTHING for a bottle of sudafed and a can of dust-off!
8. Anyone can look sexy in stilettos but it takes a real smoking hot babe to make flip flops erotic! Who wouldn’t wanna give it real gentle like to the human fucking flamingo! Sexy and elegant! BOOOIIING!
9. There are lots of experienced lovers just looking to show you a thing or two! But remember…if they die while you’re banging them, you should stop immediately! Just leave the bathroom stall real casual like and finish your shopping. That shit ain’t your problem!
10. The people of Walmart are kinky mofos! They won’t just pee on you they’ll dump their whole god damn catheter on you, faster than you can say R. Kelly!
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