TCJ Salutes Nancy Grace’s Twins: Lucy Elizabeth & John David

In November 2007 TV crime news personality Nancy Grace gave birth to twins John David and Lucy Elizabeth. Since then Nancy and her fans have annoyed the shit out of the world by talking about these twins pretty much every damn day.

I know she loves her babies very much and that’s great but if I have to hear… “God bless you and the twins Nancy,” “The twins are so lucky to have a mother like you,” “You’re an angel Nancy, God bless you and the twins” one more time I’m going to vomit.

Those twins must be more blessed than any babies ever born because every dipshit with nothing to do but call in and wait to talk to Nancy Grace is praying for them.

Now Nancy whores these kids out on a nightly basis. Stopping in the middle of real news to show (often blurry and out of focus) photos of her beloved babies doing things like riding in a wagon in Central Park or celebrating something to do with Jesus usually.

I’m assuming this is Nancy’s husband. Looks like a nice enough guy.

Are they trying to tell me that Nancy sews clothes for her babies? I call bullshit on that.

Are the twins sleeping or dead? Only Nancy knows.

Nancy never misses an opportunity to use her babies to promote her show.

Look Anderson, I have a vagina! It’s full of eggs and these babies came out of it!

“Lucy & John David make their TV debut” you know, like all babies do.

Nancy claims to have a 24/7 video monitor hooked up to her home so that she can see what the twins are doing at all times. TotMom Casey Anthony isn’t gonna get within 100 yards of these blessed bundles of joy.

Which I’m imagining isn’t much. She also claims to have some kind of insane security system set up. Just in case any baby snatchers are getting any funny ideas while watching her parade the twins all over the TV, magazines, internet and wherever else they let her do it.

Even Nancy Grace enjoys a good K-Mart family photo.

Nancy’s had called them her little crime fighters! Seriously, what kind of crime can these little jerks fight?

Jesus, Lucy belongs in an incubator in this shot, not on the cover of US.

Those babies are gonna be pissed when they grow up and look back at these outfits.

Oh Nancy, I’m sure you sit around in your wooden rocking chair on the front porch of her NY City high rise all the time.

Is it me or does Nancy look like she has no idea what to do with these babies?

A Nancy Grace hater must have made this next image. Pretty funny.

There we go! Riding around in their little apple hats in Central Park.

Happy Birthday twins!

Yeah, I’m sure Nancy carries both babies all the time… not a nanny.

As a birthday gift to the twins Nancy whored them out again!

Then she got some fancy professional shots done and that photographer uses the pics to promote her photography business on the internet.

Perfect for all those pedophiles who are such big fans of Lucy and John David!

That baby looks like he/she is saying, “WTF did I get into?”

Nancy getting back in shape to fight crime after the babies were born. Work it girl!

And another Nancy Grace fan created this image that is horrifying and hilarious all at the same time.

God bless you and the twins Nancy. You’re an angel sent from heaven!

Just had a thought… when Casey Anthony gets out of jail she’s gonna need a job! Maybe TotMom Nanny service?

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