Man arrested for masturbating on United flight…cue snakes on a plane joke!

On May 19th, 25 year old Floridian (What?!?!?) Kyle Pearce decided it would be cool to rub one out on a flight to Denver. Guess that TSA pat down really got him going!

The 18 year old girl who was unlucky enough to witness the act told police,  “I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis.He told me his name was Kyle. He ejaculated & got some on the seat.”      That must’ve been some introduction!

Apparently she wasn’t the only one who saw his penis out and put two and two together…this plane was full of amateur sleuths!
“My friend Zach turned to me and said, ‘That man is masturbating’ and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis and he was. I hit him with my book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom. After a while he returned.”   Well looks like he’s about to get another book thrown at him. If convicted of obscene and  indecent exposure of his person, Pearce faces a maximum of 90 days in jail and a year of supervised release. He can also be fined up to $5000.

Kyle is more than just a mile high masturbator though…he is also a professional bull rider and he still has a myspace account! Go Kyle!