HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Joran Van der Sloot Is Gonna Be A Daddy!

Joran Van der Sloot, the guy who murdered vacationing American teenager Natalee Holloway in his home town of Aruba in 2005… the same guy who then went on to murder a young Peruvian girl named Stephany Flores in June 2010… the guy who sits, I guess I can’t say rotting… the guy who sits THRIVING AND REPRODUCING in a Peruvian prison? Are you friggin’ kidding me?

Apparently Joran Van der Sloot has been getting conjugal visits with a girl that they are calling his “girlfriend.” They don’t identify her yet, but don’t worry, we’ll all know who she is soon enough.

So this girlfriend use to work at the same casino where Joran actually met Stephany Flores WHOM HE LATER KILLED. She visits him, does some cleaning, brings him candy and has sex with him. All in THIS jail cell.

It’s nicer than some New York City apartments I’ve seen.

What a flair for color that man has. Nothing drab in this cell.

Turns out Van der Sloot has a lucrative candy selling business that he’s running from his jail cell and this girl is his supplier/prostitute/maid/girlfriend/baby-mama. I thought that when you went to prison, the only people you were allowed to have sex with, were your fellow inmates? Shouldn’t they have put his co*k in a vice until they figured out if he was a serial killer or not?

Stephany Flores’ father saw Van der Sloot at a hearing recently and told the press that he expected to see a “miserable person” but instead was shocked to see a “fatso.” So this fat bastard, has a maid, is getting sexually serviced, and is running a small business from his jail cell. He’s like the Willy Wonka of Castro Castro Jail.

Look at these magazines? He’s like a Peruvian celebrity. He’s on the cover of every tabloid. Why would he ever want to leave? He’s famous, he’s making money and he’s getting laid.

Way to go Lima!

And this my friends is why I don’t believe in karma.

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She should be scared to be alone with him. I would be. This is insane for real. He has more pros than cons with being a prisoner. Sounds more like camp to me.